55 cents

My laptop croaked today and no matter how many computer sutras I read, it still remained as dead as ever wtf.

Next was my beautiful c905 SE handphone. The head piece died, so when I make or receive a phone call, i'm supposed to select speaker mode and let the world listen to my phone conversation.. T.T

Anyway because of my slab cake disaster, I actually ventured on making ice cream instead. I love green tea ice cream ..! So i thought it'll be nice to make one of my own and brag to the world about my culinary skills. I beat some eggs, sugar, added some cream and milk and I wondered about the nightmare which is now in the freezer compartment.. *sweat

Sigh I don't know but .. recently my luck stunk real bad. Like yesterday I was at Tesco, and while packing em items in the bag, a security lady came by and accused me of stealing tomatoes wtf.

Hello lady, do I look that poor (to steal tomatoes)?!!

Yeah ok la I admit .. I do look poor but hello there are a lots of poor people in this world who wouldn't even steal at all ok.

I had to let her look through the receipt of purchase .. and after being satisfied that I paid for it and realizing what an ass she was, the security lady just hurried away. Imagine that!

Not even one word of apology!

I was sooo mad, smoke came outta my ears, and every step to the car park shook the earth and beyond.

I did my best to forget about it .. but curiosity got the better of me, so when I got home, I dug out the receipt (to check how much the tomatoes was worth embarrassing me in public for) ..

To my disgust, the tomatoes were only worth 55 cents ..

Hello woman! Give me a break ok! 55 cents for all that drama! Heck at least la accuse me of stealing rm 100 ok! But 55 cents?!!! Bloody hell!

In the end, possed by The Hulk's Holy Spirit, I called Tesco Customer Care and scolded the shit out of them. Sigh. Its so not a very nice thing to do .. but what the heck!

Let me scold ok! ---> what a scary woman .. T.T

Mochi my Life

I tried to bake a chocolate cake ..

It ended up as hard as a piece of concrete slab wtf.

No knife can cut through it

And in the end, out of sheer frustration ..

I hammered it with a spoon

It broke .. !

The next challenge is probably gnawing it with my teeth ..

Really its times like these where I seriously pity whoever that is gonna to marry me.

So you guys, if you wanna know how to build high quality slabs in the kitchen, you know who to find.

Anyway..! I recently discovered this glorious thing called MOCHI at Sakae Sushi! Yeah I know what you guys are thinking 'how on earth can she not try Mochi before until now'??

Well yeah that's cause I'm aunty like that ok. You think what? Everything see also want to try and eat is it? Eh why does that sound so familiar? Am I talking about my big sister wtf

Colourful Mochi(s)

Anyway I finally tried it and its now one my favourites! And to you guys who have no idea what it is .. Mochi is actually a Japanese rice cake made out of glutinous rice which are pounded (into paste) and then moulded into a ball-like shape.

In Japan, while eaten the whole year round, Mochi is actually traditionally made during the Mochitsuki ceremony (and also a traditional food for Japanese New Year)! And now Mochi is also known as well as a prominent snack for Jadetofu to consume weekly lol

Aside from that, two weeks ago I followed a friend to visit her baby boy and I got to carry him big time! Aww.. he is reaaally cute! And round! And soft! And ahhhh he is exactly just like how babies are supposed to be!

And best of all he kept smiling at me!

Waa .. I didn't want to return him to his mommy at all!

That is until he grabbed my hair, chewed onto it happily and puked all over my skirt ..

Needless to say I returned him back to his mom in a jiffy.

Tofu Rabu Note : In case you are wondering who was that cake made for, it was actually made for my sister's birthday which is today.

However one look at the slab and she declared that she'd rather spend $ pigging out at Chilis rather than getting food poisioning.. T.T

Despite all of her insufferable qualities.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CICI ! May you have a great one his year and oh, please bring me a piece of chocolate cake home later ok

My pet fish shatted his first ball of poo

Last weekend I went to a big ass pet store at Burma Road and ended up buying a pet fighting fish.

There were many fishes there, but I ended up choosing the most Kaypo ah yee fish that was on display. Not to mention amongst all the other fishes, he was also the largest in size and managed to put up a great fight before he was fished outta the tank.

I liked him immediately, and named him 'Pork ribs'.

Pork ribs in his Pink Tank

Pork ribs is as big as my thumb, eats like a pig, flares proudly whenever I approach the tank and he even dances when I play J-rock songs by Gackt.

We get along pretty well :)

Of Little Nyonya and Tao

Is now looking at a lump on my bed..

The lump is my sleeping sister wtf.

Up to no good, I took a photo of her face (to blackmail her later..) . The shutter went off, a grunt is heard and instead of waking up .. she started snoring loudly .. *gives up

Seriously I tell you this woman can sleep anywhere ok .. I mean I've heard of this phenomenon whereby people would sleep anywhere right .. and I even witnessed first hand too (my uncles and aunties at bayan lepas) but wtf my sister takes sleeping anywhere to the whole next level ok. I mean she sleeps in *my* room, on MY *BED*, with the lights *shinning* hotly under. Heck, she even slept through a camera flash .. *speechless

And now she's doing the mini starfish pose..! Man I tell you this woman is more entertaining animated in her sleep than she is awake. I mean just five mins before she was doing the stork pose (with one leg up in her sleep).

Yoga? Who needs em.

My sister can do em in her sleep without breaking a sweat.

Anyway miss hippo aside.. I finally finished watching The Little Nyonya! Its a drama serial by MediaCorp TV and I tell ya its really entertaining!

As I don't want to spoil anything about the story .. so lets just say that its a Baba version of Cinderella and you'd get the rough idea of what the series is about.

Yup real entertaining considering the Cinderella looks like this ..

Jeanette Aw as Yue Niang

In the first episode when I saw her lovely face, my heart went doki doki! Usually this effect is mostly reserved for girls with anime eyes like kiera knightley, camilla belle, anna tsuchiya etc, but man .. Jeanette is really a unique beauty alright! *doki doki

And the Prince look like this .. *sounds of ovaries exploding

Needless to say I finished the entire series in three days wtf. Heck I even break my Dad's record ok considering it took him four days. Hello thats also an achievement already ok, just imagine watching 34-episode in four days!

After watching, I also wanna be like Yue Niang too and cook babi pongteh for my hubby ok! Haha hubby oh hubby .. where are chuuuu .. hahahah! *crashes back to reality ..

Yeah Yue Niang my ass la. The actress that played her is sooo elegant and dainty ok! Holy doriyaki, she even make pounding sambal and washing traditional encreament pots look like a breeze.

While the other day I went to work, entered the toilet and heard an auntie yelping helplessly for her dear life behind the door wtf. I thought to myself, Oh my god,I just squished killed someone! But then a tiny figure emerged from behind the door, and was I ever so relieved.

Anyway last week, my friends decided to have buffet at TAO. Initially my first reaction was like huh .. no way! It'll be quite a waste considering I get full easily (but hungry very fast) so I didn't really see much of a point going except for being around my friends ..

Still not wanting to be a party pooper .. I offered to skip buffet and order a personal meal instead, and my friends went, Haha of course! Order anything you like! So haha, I thought great! But then waitress told me that buffet is only available and all my friends were nodded thoughtfully. FML

No chance to wiggle out of the situation, I mean if I'm going to fork out rm 50+ for a buffet .. I might as well eat like a mouse on the brink of death wtf.

So I launched PS : Project Salmon. I figured out that if I am going to fork out rm 50+ for buffet, I might as well eat as much salmon as I like. Cause brink of death mouse or not, I can't eat alot anyway .. (the last time I counted eight balls of sushi before I gave up ..) so it'll be a waste if I don't eat anything of value.

Besides I live for salmon. I love salmon!

Later when other dishes came, I discovered that I also lived for lamb and loved lamb too

And the same went for chawamushi, scallops and the list goes on wtf.

Needless to say I lost track of my salmon goal halfway through.

Me and my friends at Tao.

Anyway rm50+ or not, I did enjoy myself all the same. One of my friends, Jambu Queen is moving to KL for her studies. So its sorta like a farewell for her too.

Normally I resent making new friends with passion, but she reminded me what it was like having a good friend to depend on, which is totally a different experience from my past crazy bitch friends. So yeah Jambu Queen, I'll miss you alot! Come find me when you drop by Penang ok. I'll take you out in my Milo tin ..

And yeah speaking about friends .. I recently played around with Microsoft Paintbrush and was inspired enough to start a project called Tofu Paintbrush.

Now if you are wondering what Tofu Paintbrush is, its an on-going personal project whereby I'd draw various people whom I have met in my life using Microsoft Paint, and edited by Adobe Photoshop. I only drew a few so far but I'll keep adding em as I go.

Will post up pictures of Tofu Paintbrush in my next post!

I'm off to bed now. I can't wait for tomorrow when I get to eat my mother's Bak Kut Teh first thing in the morning! Haha *wonders if there's shredded garlic in the fridge .. cause without shreded garlic, bak kut teh is nothing!

Nobody knows how deep is my insanity .. (^^)'

Maggi o rama

I ate maggie mee for five days straight. Yours truly figured that if I do so, I'd get so sick of em and give em up for good ! *nods head

It didn't work. Today I had my sixth packet.. *ashamed

Perhaps I should just quit my job and become a maggie ambassador instead.

Bloody serves me right for laughing at my sister's ex boyfriend. I kid you not that that man is a walking, talkin, livin 'Ajinomoto' bottle ok.

Seriously, a spice machine, he'd sauteed em food so thick with them spices that he won't even know if its a shoe before he ate it!

That and a couple of OCD-like behaviour, I often wondered why my sister even went out with him .. but then I remembered how good looking he was and so I demurely nodded when my sister said that love had no logic wtf.

Tofu bedtime stories : The Little Mermaid

Once upon a time, a man once brought his little girl a storybook. Its a colouring book about a Little Mermaid which is written by Hans Anderson.

He later bought her the cartoon movie as well (and lo and behold its not by Disney but from Toei Animations)

And by the time the little girl was finished with the two, she was mad enough to think that she'd actually meet a real mermaid in her life time.

So she stood by mounfully at the river and waited for the mermaid.

She did this for years.

And years..

And years..

Still no mermaid..

In the end she got upset and never again hoped to see a mermaid.

When she got bigger .. she realized that the river she was staring at is .. actually a wide long kang (drain) at Bayan Lepas wtf.

That idiot is me.

Written by Jadetofu

Elevator luvin'

This morning I entered the lift and there's this girl who was rushing to enter the lift, but she was too late! So I quickly thrusted my arm and stopped the lift from closing and the girl didn't wanna enter after that! WTF my armpit stink izzit?? How rude! I should have just gone bwahahahaha and just let the lift door close wtf.
_

Anyway last Sunday I saw actress Lee SinJie at Queensbay promoting SK2! Goodness what a beauty she is in flesh! Movies just doesn't do her enough justice. Her eyes were very round and clear and she spoke with a lady-like elegance.

Interviewer and Lee SinJie
_

Eventhough I was quite near to the stage, this is the only bearable photo I have cause I was almost elbowed to death by the hoards of full blooded men who stood in front of me wtf.
_

Apart from that two days ago I went for a haircut! At first I insisted on a mini trim however after being told that my hair is so damaged (to the point whereby they'd just break off themselves) .. I somehow sobered up and said yes to a 7 inch snip!

Yeah you know how some hairstylist would insist on snipping off 7 inch of your hair, and then (pity you enough) to settle just for a 5 inch instead? Well this hairstylist would have none of that sort. Cause when he say he wanna cut 7 inch,you'd be sure 7 inch it is! *sob you heartless man!
_

Though my hair is a lot shorter now.. hey at least it looks like hair rather than a dead animal hanging off my back, so yeah my goodbye was well deserved indeed!

_

After cutting my hair, the hairstylist insisted that I buy the recommended shampoo and conditioner.. and styling cream and serum and I was like, uh .. OK sure!

But then I saw the hefty price for each individual items and I was like wtf have you any idea how little I earn per hour?!!

However after having a mini lecture on the importance of hair grooming, I gave in and bought two styling items. As for the shampoo and conditioner, I will come back for you someday .. ! and off I went to Watson to buy anti frizz shampoo and conditioner instead.

Hello its an improvement already ok cause you are talking to the same person who was tempted to buy Santan to condition her hair if it hadn't been for my poor mother who shrieked and cried bloody murder when she discovered all my evil plotting.

I also did some shopping too over the weekend, and so did my sister!
_

She wanted to get her friend's baby girl the ultimate baby gift! And I kid you not that this woman is hella obsessed ok. At first I was just as excited! And so I followed her into seven different motherhood shops!

However when we returned to two of the same shops, like for three grand times, and coming out with no, nothing, non .. I was ready to strangle this woman already..

I'd be like 'Oy would you just get something already! Are you like the baby's godmother or something'?? And she'll say 'Of course not! Cannot simply become godmother one ok, later cannot get married HA-HA' !! (=.=)''

In the end, she bought an interactive children storybook. I kept reminding her that babies would chew on anything .. even if its a book! But my sister insisted that this particular baby is a 'smart one' who only chews on food.

Riight.

Sister and the 'smart one'.
_

Actually come to think of it, I met the 'smart one' too not long ago at work and I was like eagerly shaking her hands cause she is just too cute ! In fact I wanna shake somemore but the baby got disgusted at my behaviour wtf.

Tofu Rabu-rabu Note : I met the the smart one's dad as well and man was he as hot as Huang Xiao Ming wtf! Hello this is the reason good looking people should breed more ok.. T3T

Of work and em' brushes

It was a lovely day at work .. until I got up to ask for assistance. For reasons unknown, I tripped and slammed my body onto the cubicle divider!

_

Holy doriyaki was it embarrassing as as hell ok! In my poor defense, I pretended not to notice! However to my horror the cubicle divider started shaking from the impact .. and a few people did notice.. *bug eyed

I mean hello, can you imagine if the cubicle divider really fell n' flattened all my collegues??! Yeah I know, it would have been a great fantasy gone real wtf.

Me at work doing what I do best .. eating!

And eating..!

Okok better change the topic before I get fired.

Anyway..! I started painting lately! I mean I don't normally paint (cause obviously I can't paint even if my life depended on it) but then again it was a lazy afternoon and while my sister bumming in my room, yakking way happily .. I looked at my paint brushes, and thought hey why not??

I mean I'll just let that woman yak while I paint ok.

And yak did that woman did! By the time she finished her story (of trying to eat a human sized chicken in her dream) I almost broke my brain.

The end result? The painting is still classified under work-in-progress ! Makna tak habis lagi ok. Aa .. gone were those days where I'd sit and draw for hours straight! In fact I'd be so engrossed to the point whereby I'd even skip lunch!

Today? I go for lunch first, drawing second wtf.

Apart from that, I recently found out that Maybank recently froze my bank account! I have been using Hong Leong all this while, so I didn't notice until I felt poor one day and wanted to withdraw munny from my old Maybank account.

Anyway the staff assured me that my savings are intact, and if I were to come back before 5 pm on a weekday, I'll be able to reactivate my account.

The next day I drove like a maniac after work, and went straight to Maybank.

When I arrived, the staff told me they'd most certainly arrange for my account to be re-activated .. that is--only if I arrive before 4.30 pm.

Puzzled I looked at my watch. It was exactly at 4.30 pm wtf.

Lesson of the day? Just take a day off work to settle your bank account. Its supposed to be the most natural thing ever. Yup, as natural as my ass that is.

Neurotic as hell

I am at a point in my life where I am *very* comfortable with the idea of eliminating shit friends from my life. I'll do it in a heartbeat and I'll have no remorse, regret or whatsoever in doing so. The past does not matter to me anymore. Treat me like shit in the present and if I feel strongly about it, it's goodbye. I won't even explain myself.

And to all you manipulative men who come to me in false pretense of being my friend but actually want to posses me like some sort of a sick prize .. fuck you all. I have no time for your fucking games and I won't entertain any of it. And even if I do, it'll be out of pity. So think carefully what you are after, and if you are unhappy about the way I am treating you, then please take your leave.

Remember I am a prideful woman, and my heart won't be wavered by expensive gifts and empty promises. So if you think I'll rush into a relationship with you without love and respect .. you are sadly mistaken.

Go look for a prostitute instead.

Dilemma

I am supposed to be asleep.. cause I need to wake up at 5.30 am tomorrow .. but somehow .. I just can't stop thinking of duck noodles .. T3T

Of car accidents and ricebags

I was on my way to see my favorite niece perform at a concert when I got in to a car accident.

I was entering a carpark when a lady drove her car straight onto my passenger side. In effect she damaged her own front bumper at the side, and my car door (passenger side) was slightly dented.

It happened so fast, and the sound impact was deafening. On impulse, I came out from the car and hurried over to check my small car. Tofu Translation : I wanted to see if the damage was enough to make my mom kill me when I reached home.

I guess the lady must have been real offended when she saw me check my car first, cause she threw a royal fit and started yelling. To be honest it was difficult concentrating on what she was saying cause admist all the noises she was making .. I was just too distracted by her flaring nostrils which kept increasing in size (the angrier she got).

It was just .. out of this world.

Anyway to cut it short, she asked me how am I going to compensate her. And I was like .. You slammed into my car and you want me to compensate you?? Seeing how confused I looked she quickly raised her voice and told me to pay her RM 500 on the spot and that she'd ask for more in advance when she fixed her car wtf.

RM 500 .. ? Yeah sure, I told her to go fly kite. I said its out of the question, and added that I do not carry so much cash around anyway. She then asked me how much I was carrying in my wallet at present and told me that should she report this accident, she'd get my car license will be revoked.

Insulted, I refused to pay her RM 500 and instead of listening to her any longer and instead of wasting MY TIME under THE SCORCHING SUN while hoards of PEOPLE were LOOKING AND GAWKING at us, I had enough and said 'Police report would be fine' and amazingly enough all her nagging and incessant whining and yelling .. immediately went to 'auto mute' mode wtf.

Suddenly it became painfully apparent that she didn't want to make a police report at all, and she only mentioned it to intimidate me. Cause after I mentioned it, she said I'd be causing her a whole lot of trouble on her part, and refused to make a police report. She said a whole lotta ridiculous things as well, which I'd rather skip cause I don't want to break anyone's brain.

From my limited understanding, if I were to make a police report and she did not in 24 hours .. her ass would be fried. And since in a whole, this is my first accident, and perhaps I might be at fault too .. (accordingly to her) I suggested her to get car to be fixed at my dad's friend car workshop (since all she wanted was for her car to be fixed and paid by me anyway and wouldn't compromise on anything else) and I will compensate her for the repairs.

She agreed and seemed to be perfectly happy. I thought so cause from my limited understanding her front bumper looked a hella fine to me. Just some scratches thats for sure. And physically wise her bumper is very much intact that's for sure. Her lights are fine well, and I doubt superficial scratches like that is going to cost more than rm 300 (perhaps even less).

So ok, I settled it mutually with her (instead of going to the police station). By right, I have no problems going to the police station, but since she didn't want to .. might as well settle it personally. My friends in Facebook didn't think so, and they told me that I'd be digging a whole for myself if she would turn back on her word and make a police report against me instead.

The lady in question drove a Proton Waja and from the scene she was making you'd think she was defending her Benz (so full of shit) which makes me look at my Kelisa in awe because despite how small of a size it is .. its pretty tough! Cause for such an impact, my Kelisa was only dented a little! Babyy you make mommy proud! *wet eyes

So now you have it. Kelisa is definately no Milo tin ok. In fact, after the car accident .. I believe in Buatan Malaysia wtf. *waves flag

Though no doubt irritated when the accident took place, I am still grateful and lucky that I wasn't injured, nor did I hurt the lady when the accident occured.

Come to think of it, my Aunt Angela once told me that I have a cousin brother who don't do charity cause apparently everytime he does, he'd have a string of bad luck. It happened too often for it to be a coincidence. I didn't think much about it .. until I donated last friday, and what came after was a car accident, and a stolen credit card wtf. So believe it or not .. you decide.

Anyway after the accident, I still drove to see my niece performance, and I must say that it was worth it. My neice is just three years old, and yet she braved herself and went up the stage with her friends! Uwaaaa .. Zoey you make your Aunty proud ok! Very pandai already ok, cause when I was three the only performance I know was to pee, smile, clutch my dad's leg and eat.

_

There were many talented kids there was well. One was about five, and he played like mozart wtf. It was amazing. I mean we are talking about a little guy whose legs could barely reach the floor when he sat on the keyboard chair! He literally had to climb up the chair! And I was like why can't you talented brats grow up faster and be my boyfriend wtf.
_

I tell ya its the scientific stuff (B2, B3, B5 vitamins) they put in milk powders these days! Kids are like friggin smart! We'd have Einstein by a bundle in the next century!

After the performance, my leg ached. Cause well, last Thursday I carried three big ass CPU at work, and it was so friggin heavy that I busted my knee.

Remember what I previously said on how my popping knee doesn't hurt an effin bit? Holy doriyaki man, I take that back totally.. cause after carrying CPU three times (back and forth to the IT department) .. Lets just say that it made me remembered that I actually do have a knee and it bloody hurt like nobody's business after all the big ass carrying I did.

Haha and to think how I boasted to my friends on how I'd use to carry rice bags during my days at Newcastle. FML

I went 'Haha ! Carry CPU? Hmmph! No problemo..! Easy peasy ok' and the next day I wore a knee guard like a samurai. When I reported my status at Facebook, one of my very pregnant friend commented that its like being pregnant you know.. cause her baby is making her knees hurt too! But then I was like .. 'But--I can see my toes and you can't! Dahahahah! My jokes are becoming so lame. Someone please help me wtf.

And oh yes, after the accident, and after my niece cute performance, I went to eat chicken rice - steamed chicken, taugeh vegetable, chinese tea, and a plate of tofu with eggs. Tasted damn fine but somehow I couldn't finish what I ordered. So I told the lady to 'tapau' it for me (pack it up) so that I can bring it home. Being absent minded, I paid for it, and left it at the counter. So I came home hungry, sweaty and .. in a very stange mood.

I then went into Facebook, and to my absolute disgust .. one of my friend was raving on and on how big of an Michael Jackson (MJ) fan she was, and how his death struck her so badly and the whole time I was trying not to puke, cause during our secondary school days, I'd ask her about MJ and she would tell me that she is no longer a fan of his wtf. So .. he is not worth your love and idolation anymore just because he lost his handsome looks and was accused for molesting a child? So much for a big fan.

Then what? Now when MJ is dead she is suddenly his biggest fan again? Some of her friends even went 'Ohhh MJ lives through you ..' and I just couldn't help myself. Yeah live through her, my ass ok. *rolls eyes

Tofu Rabu-rabu edition : I described the whole car accident, and showed pictures of my car and the lady's car to my friends, and they told me I am definately not at fault at all. Too late for that now. I found out today that The cost for repairing the women's car is RM 250 plus.

Ironic isn't it? Even if I drag her to the police station I'm going to lose RM 300 for reporting itself (when its not even my fault), and even if we settled it out of the police station she still made me PAY RM 250 for the damage WHEN IT WAS SHE WHO TRASHED MY CAR in the first place!

I mean with all this talk about her car, well what about the damage done to my car huh? She didn't even give a shit, not did she have the decency to settle for half the price instead of RM250 since my car was trashed as well.

In the whole, I hope karma comes around for greedy opportunistic people.

His Legacy : Man In The Mirror

Michael Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

I cried on the way to work when I heard the news .. and when I arrived, I was just so sickened by uneducated people talking about how many 'thousand' surgeries he had, how deep he was in debt, his sexual preference for little boys and whats even worse -- one guy even told me that Michael died because his nose 'dropped' out wtf!!

At first I was so damned upset about MJ's passing but at the end of the day, I was just mad angry. I mean WTF! A MAN JUST DIED AND ALL YOU STUPID MORONIC F*CKERS ARE CONCERNED ABOUT WAS THE WAY HE LIVED HIS PRIVATE LIFE AND GOSSIPING LIKE ROOM FULL OF HAGS ABOUT UNVERIFIED NEWS?!! WHAT HAS HE DONE TO YOU PEOPLE TO DESERVE SUCH HATE ?!! WOULD YOU PEOPLE HAVE SAID THE SAME THING IF HE WAS YOUR FATHER, YOUR BROTHER OR A PART OF YOUR FAMILY?!! *absolute disgust

Well to all you haters out there .. I hope you all will be remembered sorely for your faults and gossiped upon the same nasty way even way before you guys are buried six feet under. Or even better, NOT EVEN BE REMEMBERED AT ALL.

When I got home, and went online, and I was .. just so touched (and relieved) to see that for ever one person who hated Michael, there was still thousands and millions of people worldwide who loved and cherished him for his beautiful soul, his music and for the wonderful and amazing things he did and gave.

Rest in Peace Michael.

The butter war wtf

A couple months ago, while getting up from the chair, I suddenly felt as though my knee popped out and back in.. (O____o)''''

It never happened before and ever since then my knee joints have been popping like firecrackers wtf.

I mean my knee pops when I stretch, when I take a walk, and even when I do a squat. So next time you enter a woman's restroom and you hear an pop coming from the next door, its probably me. FML

Really with all the grinding and bone popping noises, one would think its quite alarming but strangely enough it does not hurt at all! That is save but for a little bit of 'tightness' at the knee cap.

Guess I'm pretty lucky cause I have heard of some people who would experience a whole lotta pain when their knee does pop!

As for my family, they didn't really seem to mind much bout the popping noises I make. Mainly cause the popping noises would alert them to my whereabouts in the house wtf. So its goodbye and adieu to the good old days of eavesdropping around the house.

My mom did mention that the popping is probably attributed to my weight gain though and blamed my butter intake. But then I valiantly fought to keep my midnight snack (salted smashed potatoes and butter) the very best I could.. cause well, everyone knows that I'm a chronic butter-holic. *nods head

I won the butter war in the end, and my mom continued on and on .. like a broken tape recorder until the very end wtf but then my dad insisted that its part of her charm cause well, he finds her rather endearing when she starts bossing people around.

Anyway it did cross my mind to get my knee fixed .. but then I remembered that occasionally my hips pops as well .. and on shifts, my feet too. *gives up

Little Red Seeds

I was reunited with my old school friend in Facebook!

Her name is Saganantiny, and we knew each other since the first day of school! Now I'd always remember her .. cause well Proton Saga is Malaysia's national car wtf and there used to be a Red Bead Tree right outside our class which would shed Biji Saga (Red Seeds) !

Little Red Seed a.k.a Biji Saga

According to BonniPink at flickr.com, these seeds are also known as 'Xiang si dou' in Chinese which meant something along the lines of Think of Me beans! (ehh how come I didn't know that??) And according to her, people used to 'bottle' them and 'give them to their special friends'!

And I was like .. wtf wasn't I told about this while in school?? I mean if I had known that these seeds are so romantic then I would have definately collected these stinkin red seeds and force my future boyfriend to carry a big ass bottle of em wherever he go! *scary look on face

Ok I admit.. I used to collect them seeds myself when I was little, and put them all in a Milo tin! When it's part full I'd rattle the tin and feel soo rich! (so much for giving it to boyfriends ..) Lmaoooo! But then one day right .. my mom threw it away cause she asked me if I liked collecting junk, and I nodded wtf.

Tofu Rabu-rabu Extended Note : And Saga if you are reading this .. its not the car, and seeds that I remembered you .. but its because you have a fantastic sense of humor and a wonderful personality to boot! See you around when you do come to Penang! XD

Sea Slugs

I am convinced that the best Soyabean drink is sold near my house, and the worst Char Koay Teow (flat noodle dish) is sold at a corner coffeeshop at Jalan Sri Bahari wtf.

Its just opposite the Oriental Hotel and when I say that its the worst, I don't mean the food ok, but its rather because I cannot stand the sombong aunty who is selling the chai koay teow in that coffeeshop. Cause to me, its all the same. Even if your food win a whole lotta awards, I still wouldn't want to eat it (much less pay for it) if your character sucks balls.

And I say so cause yesterday I ordered a plate of Char Koay Teow from the seller, and she told me to wait or else forget about buying. As I have no problem waiting, I offered to wait. She then gave me a dirty look and replied that her food will NEVER be ready wtf.

I couldn't help myself and looked at her stall. I dunno about you, but it sure as hell doesn't look unprepared to me! Walau got mood one ah Aunty Ass?!! Anyway, I ordered something else (from other stalls) and I ate it with a great sense of satisfaction.

See the thing is.. I don't mind if she was unwilling to sell her Koay Teow to me ok, nor do I mind if a person was born with a permanent grumpy face .. but PLEASE LAH AUNTY, DON'T WANNA SELL, JUST SAY IT OK. Don't have to insult my intelligence by telling me something so goddamed inane ok. I wouldn't have minded then. Cause its not as if all Koay Teow Sellers in Penang have died leaving this ass of a human behind wtf

Besides her Koay Teow wasn't even the best ok. Now if I want real Char Koay Teow, I can always get it at to Lorong Selamat. The stall is owned by a little woman called Aunty Goggles and her Koay Teow is fantastic! And if you are wondering why was she called Aunty Goggles .. thats because she wears em yellow goggles and a red shower cap whenever she fries her Koay Teow.

Char Koay Teow a.k.a Flat Noodle Dish

Though I've heard that her temper is quite legendary (she fries her Char Kueh Teow as if the whole world owes her money lol ) I personally never experienced it before. Hence no problem with Aunty Googles.

Besides, I heard that she is a lot friendlier these days cause an unhappy customer actually attacked her stall with a brick! I went HOLY DORIYAKI ..! THATS JUST AWFUL! Why couldn't they have attacked the ass at Jalan Sri Bahari instead wtf.

Anyway! Koay Teow story aside... ! Last Saturday me and my family went to Jade Blossom. My mom thought it was Father's Day.. And as we are too chicken to tell her so, we just went along!

Its our second time there, and we had some really nice dishes! Sure there's no Tofu dish this time around (cause I end up eating it all myself anyway lol) but hey there's Hai Som dish ok! And Hai Som is da best-est dish, ever ok!

Er.. in case no one know what Hai Som is : its a Hokkien term for edible Sea Slugs! Haha sounds disgusting right??! But I tell you its damn nice ok! The trick is pretending that you are eating fish! lmaooo! And once you get the hang of it .. you can follow me to eat snails at Lok Lok!

Hai Som : Sea Slugs Dish a.k.a Braised Sea Cucumber Dish :D

Now while waiting for the food to arrive, I noticed that the family opposite our table was staring at my sister! Confused, I looked at them, and then I turned to look at my sister.. and to my horror that brat was staring right back at them wtf! And she wasn't even smiling ok!

Holy Doriyaki..! *sucks in breath* I wanted to nudge her soooo bad ok! Cause hello, the ppl in the next table is considered senior citizens ok! And everyone, everyone knows that getting ancient people excited is big a nono ok! Thank god, they left shortly after our food arrived .. *shoots a dirty look at my sister who was eating peacefully after wtf

Actually come to think about it .. it was my Dad's friend who told me that June 7 is Father's Day! Cause well, he came over to my house (a day before) and he told me so! And I was just so shell shocked cause I thought it was on June 21st! But before I could answer .. his friend snubbed me and reprimanded me for slacking! What an ass! Lol !! And not helping was my mom who then confirmed it without blinking .. *sweat

Then again .. ! Everyday is a Father's day in the Oieh's Family calendar ok! So okay, Happy Father's Day, Daddy! I love you!! And I'll wish you again and again till the real day arrives! :D

Meat floss

My friend dreamt that he fell from a mountain. I told him that its ok cause I once dreamt that I was roasting potatoes by the river when my hair caught fire wtf.

And since my hair is as dry as bak hoo you can imagine how fast the fire spread. When I woke up I did not want to look at a potato for a week. FML

Anyway I told him not to eat too much at night cause it will cause one to have very vivid dreams ! Another tip would be to wash your feet clean before going to bed! Er, even so, do note that the two above doesn't apply to me.

See, eat or not, to scrub feet or not, I still end up with vivid dreams almost every night! Dahahah..! Got story and adventure some more ok!

I thought I was the only one is like this in the family.. but then I found out from my dad that I wasn't! Apparently one night my mom yelled .. 'Kyaaa! Pencuri! Jangan lari'! Bewildered, my dad woke up and stared at her.

She was talking in her sleep! Hahahaha!!

It was amazing and we still tease her about it until this very day!

Goodbye swimwella!

I woke up early cause my friend wanted me to fetch her to A&W wtf. She was very stressed about her upcoming exams, so I guess she completely forgot about my birthday.

I was there the whole time while she and her guy friend discussed about their exams.. and I was thinking .. C-could it be 'Benchaped'?!!

Ok, in case you are wondering what 'Benchaped' is .. apparently its a Thai word meaning '25 years old', and it is an age old belief that whoever turned 25 years old will have a year of bad luck. FML

Er then again I'm not Thai, so it doesn't apply to me lah. Hahahahaa!! Anyway I was just joking, and though I was bored outta my mind, I am happy cause at least I was there when she needed me. Yup, that and the golden chance for me to pig out at McDonalds without anyone reprimanding me!

Perhaps the only downside is that I bloody hated her guy friend though. That bastard threw a tissue paper at me, and asked me to marry a rich man since he don't think that I had any use at all as a woman. WTF man! Did he seriously not realize that he himself came out of his mother's ass??! So whats with the high and mighty attitude when it comes to women hah?!!

Hmmph! I was mad as hell due to his lack of respect for women. Still I restrained myself the best I can (stuff a coal in my ass and you'd probably find a diamond by now wtf) cause I remembered that my friend needed his help. So yeah, I guess its an achievement for someone who is as temperamental as me to just .. sit by quietly after being insulted by a bum.

Anyway though the first part of the day was not exactly how I wanted to spend my day .. (usually I'm happy enough staying at home cause I don't enjoy entertaining anyone on my birthday, much less being insulted at wtf) but the second part of the day sure does make up for it!

Cause my parents fished me out to eat my fav Claypot Tofu! Fuiyo damn nice la wei! Mom, Dad I love you! What do you guys love me so much and why am I so easy to please? Lol. Oh ya and not to forget one important thing .. !

My teeth has graduated! Yup, that means no more stitches and no more swimwella wisdom tooth! Ohohoho! *cheh bangga-nyer

To those who remembered, thank you for the birthday wishes! Cause by the time the miserable day almost ended I was feeling like a piece of useless scrap metal .. but then there was parents, presents, friends and facebook .. ! And so I was saved wtf

Perhaps the highlights of being 25 is that I got the one of the best presents this year! *eyes shinning* cause my parents bought me the hp in which have always wanted, my sister : a nikon camera, and last of all a friend actually gave me a ps3 as a gift! It was wonderful.

After that, I went to sleep happy, and I woke up in time (3 am) to made pasta. This time I refrained myself from adding extra milk and cheese cause my sister told me that Leggo's pasta paste already contained all the nonsense which I am tempted to add.

In fact I kept telling myself that this supper would probably be my last .. cause no matter how it is deeply ingrained in Tofu Culture to cook rice at 3 am.. it is of my firm belief that one cannot escape Hippo-volution should one continue to eat like a rat at night. Yeah, of course the rat is me, and of course the hippo is also me (in five years time..) why else do you think I wanna give up eating at night??! *twitch

Which reminds me! You know the other day I was at Gurney Plaza with my sister and she saw this beautiful purple dress at Nicci! So she tried it on .. and she got so excited cause the dress size was size L and it was still loose on her!

So she deliriously tried out size M and cried out 'Eh, Jane! It is still loose! Now who is the idiot fatso who tried it out before I did'??! She laughed and snorted and gloated and in the end she realized that she tried on the same dress as the first, which is the same L (which explains why its loose..) while size M was still hanging innocently and unworn in the hangar.

She looked at me and said, 'Er .. I guess the idiot fatso is me'? *shy

I laughed my ass off!

Seriously the stuff she tells me never fail to crack me up! Like once, she asked me to get up and switch on the lights, and I was just stunned cause that brat was sitting RIGHT NEXT to the light switch!

Annoyed, I told her who is nearer to the destination hah?

She chriped 'I am, but my ass is heavier' !

Unbelievable! Then she'd tell me stuff like one of her favorite childhood memories was 'peeing joyfully in the highways' (and praying franticly afterwards .. in hopes that she won't be cursed)!

I was like .. 'Dahahaha!!! Holy doriyaki.. I did that too'!

And my mom would then mutter something about finding us idiots from the trash bin. You know in Western culture where The Stork was used to deliver babies to childless parents?

Well I guess in our case its more like 'Self Service' ! XD

Anyway about turning 25 .. I'm surprised to say that I took it rather well! Initially I didnt like the idea of turning 25 (at all) cause well, im vain, and uh, I don't want to be a step nearer to a walking prune (before I accomplished anything significant in life). Lol. Anyway all said and done glad to say that it turned out a lot different!

I actually embraced my 25 feeling quite sane and happy! Perhaps the only thing missing is that I craved for some change and excitement. Haha till then, its all about enjoying my 25 to the fullest!

Tofu Rabu-Rabu Extended Note : Oh ya, I saw Terminator : Salvation, and I think I saw a glimpse of the Govenator's ass! Dahahahaha!! It was all epic with the smoke and all! XD

The 'I feel like shit' Haiku

In the corner
steaming like pile of shit

steams some more.

Becomes dung
dung becomes distilled dung
still feel like shit.

Piano

Tomorrow I'll be removing my teeth stitches! Gyahh .. I'm really excited! I'll be able to eat freely after!! Haha you know my dad joked that I probably swallowed the stitches already cause I ate so much bee hoon wtf!

Anyway my friend e-mailed me today. He told me he just started taking up piano lessons five months ago! Uwah, I don't know about you but I like his never-can-die kinda spirit! Too old to learn? Bahh! Lets do it at 25! Yeahh I like the initiative! *high five* The girth! Ohohoho! *wish I can say the same for me about learning mandarin wtf

Eh come to think of it .. I started piano lessons when I was really little you know! I even have a photo to prove it! HAhahaha .. and guys, eat your heart out cause my piano teacher is reaaally pretty! She's married already ok, so don't e-mail me for her number.. ! XD

Anyway I learned piano till I was in Grade One .. which is actually the beginning stage wtf. I was sooo embarrassed about it cause well, my brainy cousin breezed through Grade One like peanuts and jumped straight to Grade Three! After that, it only took her a few years to reach Grade Five, and I think she even took up Violin lessons after! [hangs head in shame] My mother was always going 'WTF is the matter with you?!!' and I was like 'You know Ma .. I wish I knew' !

Er, come to think of it .. I believe I said almost the same thing when I came back from school with dirty shoes in like donkey years ago!

Er, then again my shoes weren't that dirty ok! But because I was unfortunately standing right NEXT to my cousin (whose shoes are spanking clean..) obviously my mom was itching to give me the spanking of a lifetime. And spanking of the lifetime it was! After that day, I vowed never to return with soot black shoes ever .. !

I remembered going back to school the next day, explaining about the new no stomping policy. My friends listened intently. When I'm finished [much to my horror] .. they gathered around me and started stomping the shit outta my shoes! WTF man! My ego was so bruised, I stomped back HARDER, and the next thing I knew, it erupted into a full blown passionate stomping war!

By the time we are finished .. I was also finished cause my shoes are soot black. Oh Lord may you have mercy upon my stupid soul because I don't think I can ever wiggle out of this .. !

Of course The Lord do not answer to idiots and of course the idiot is me.. so I spent the next ten minutes stealing white chalk from the board, and colored my dirty shoes with it. When I'm done, I laughed and laughed my ass off in relief! I then stepped outside to admire my handiwork.. and I realized that I stole yellow colored chalk and not white. FML

I came back home with greyish .. birdshit coloured shoes. My mom took one look at them .. and my ass was handed to me without a word.

Yeah back to the Piano story .. when I entered college, I was surprised to learn that almost none of my friends played any instruments! Including Piano! When they asked me if I played any .. I gave a small yes and mumbled something about piano and studying till Grade One. To my surprise they looked at me admirably and even praised me for being Grade One wtf! And I was like er .. do you guys even know what you are talking about?!! And they nodded.

Dahahahah !! They thought I was Grade One piano student! As in Superb Piano student! *wipes tears off my eyes* When they asked me if I could play any kinda songs and I was like .. sure! Any kinda songs! [worse to worse I'll just tell them that I'm tone deaf..]. Seven years later, my friend passed me his Iphone. In it was a Piano application. I played Mary had a Little Lamb.

Just kidding. Truth is, I play alright! I mean I'm no expert thats fer sure! But in the whole, its good enough for me!

In fact, once I played so well, the lights exploded. *thunderous applause*

Anyway I never really got around in telling my friends that there is a Grade Two after Grade One, as well as Grade Three, Four and Five.. ! But yeah, thanks to them, I have something to smile about and probably till the day when I am old and toothless.

Conan

I re-watched Conan the Barbarian yesterday and I was surprised at how well this action-fantasy movie have aged and how much I still enjoyed it (just as I did when I was five years old)! I even had a new found appreciation for the romantic subplot in the movie (between Conan and Valeria) and not to mention a new realization on how funny this movie was!

I laughed so hard when the Priest was hitting on Conan [when he sneaked in to the camp], and he went, "I'm shy. Can we go over there were the others can't see?' [Conan points at a rock] Priest eagerly follows. Conan then beats the living crap out of him. LOL! It was funny as hell! XD

True enough the movie isn't perfect but its still pretty damned good for me! Almost perfect if I may say so from an action-fantasy movie! Now a lot of people would moan about how dumb this movie is. Well yeah, perhaps its not your choice of movie, but excuse me the movie is not dumb at all ok! Now if you want real dumb entertainment then go watch teen/chick flicks! Man do I hate teen/chick flicks! And I'm talking passion here!

Back then I remember being forced to watch teen/chick flicks with my best friends for fear of offending their choice of movies (which was so full of shit by the way considering that both of them are not even my best friends today FML). And until today I remembered my brain cells dying in triple axels when I watched Clueless, American Pie, or any movies back then with Freedie Prince Jr in it! Pure torture ok! and if you so wanna see distilled torture, then go watch Confessions of a Drama Queen .. *spazzing

Thank goodness I don't have to please anyone these days, and I am free to choose what I want to watch. Perhaps the only teen movie I appreciate would be Mean Girls. Other than that nothing and I mean nothing will make me sit down to watch or finish a teen movie not unless the male lead is incredibly attractive! (which is why I might consider watching Twilight ..)

And oh ya, I'm eagerly looking forward to this Friday! So Happy!

Cause I'll be seeing Dr Dentist and he'd be removing my stitches! Hurayyy! That means I can eat like an animal again! *leaps for joy wtf

Less than RM 5 ..

I went for AK THUI MEE SUA (Duck Noodles) at Sungai Pinang. I was all smug about it cause it only cost me less than RM 5 for a bowl. Turns out that 'Less than RM 5' also cost me RM 250 (which I accidentally dropped and never got back) and 30 minutes of diarrhea in the toilet. FML

Baby .. or not?

I was talking to a friend yesterday. She lives in Australia now. Apparently she got married, and dived straight to motherhood. Her baby is due this August.

She had the world going on for her. She is 24, a mother soon, and married to the man she loves. I did not think there was anything to be unhappy about. However according to her, there was everything to be worried about cause ..

Both her and her husband was struggling financially.

I went, 'But surely you and your hubby must have some kinda plan before you decide to have the baby right? and she went, 'Nothing ever goes as planned'.

Apparently she explained that she was 'pressured' to keep the baby by her in-laws, even though she wasn't ready. She had no savings at all and her husband revealed to her that he cannot make enough money to support her and much less a baby.

In fact, she had little to say about the whole thing and by the time she realized her responsibilities, she was very distraught about the whole idea of being a mother. She told me she wasn't ready at all, and that she know nothing about taking care of a baby.

She moaned about being home and jobless while pregnant, and she moaned even more on the fact that she'd be jobless for another years to come cause her baby will be too small to be left alone. And by the time she is ready to have a job, she told me that her career would be pretty much over.

She moaned that her husband didn't even want to touch her anymore after he found out that she was pregnant, and moaned even more on the fact that he was taking two jobs to support her and her unborn child. And by the time he came back home, he was already too tired to give her any form of attention.

She moaned that she was depressed about not being able to do anything about her situation, and she moaned even more on the fact that she cannot continue being depressed because her baby will come out bad tempered.

And by the time she finished, I could think about was '...The poor baby'. I mean the baby isn't poor because his father and mother cannot provide for him a luxurious life ok, but he is poor because his mother is so miserable! Cause a miserable mother makes a miserable baby ok! *sad

And whats all this about her not being ready? I mean who the heck is really ready for motherhood anyway?? Cause from what I've heard, there's no crash course on being a mother. Nor is there a stimulation test for it. Everyone just go through with it the best they can irregardless of how difficult its going to be.

And whats all this about 'Nothing ever goes as planned'? I mean back then, I would have understand, but in this time, day and age? How can she say that the choice to have the baby isn't up to her?? I'm confused and I do hope that her whining is nothing more than fear and hormones.

A lot of people would fussing over her 'her misfortune'. Telling her what a shame it is, being caught in this situation, and that she did not deserve any of this. For me, I don't want to do that at all.

I firmly told her that having a baby is a joy and not a torture, and the sooner she accept this responsibility, the better things will get. The baby is her responsibility, and there is nothing she can do about it at this point except to have the baby (unless she wants to put it up for adoption).

As for her bloody stupid in laws and her bloody stupid husband, a little *more* support from you guys won't kill you guys ok! Asking her to have the baby and then run away from emotional and financial responsibilities!

Anyway, towards the end of our conversation, she suddenly pointed out that I'll be turn thirty in five years and asked me to get married as soon as possible to avoid being a spinster. I tried to ignore her bluntness.. but she pressed on. So I said, 'Well, should I turn 30 and single, then I guess I can always move out, rent a small apartment, get a dog and name it 'My Husband' right ..'?

She didn't think it was funny.

What? At least I'll never marry a husband who isn't ready to be a father, both emotionally and financially ok? And should I ever end up that unfortunate, I'll divorce that bastard. Cause I am not the kind who would throw away my life, dreams and career away for a man who do not deserve it.

As for a man who does? Well, lets just say that .. I do hope that I'll meet you someday.

Riight ..

I once watched a movie called Duck. After the movie ended, I asked my friend what he thought of it. He looked at me straight in the eye and coolly said 'Kentucky Fried Chicken'.

Ok, I admit, the movie wasn't called 'Duck' and no he did not say 'Kentucky' either, but still .. it was pretty close to the actual LSD moment.

Can you imagine if we became more than friends? Our conversation probably go like this .. 'Baby, I left our baby at Tesco' and he'd say, 'Don't worry Honey, I *am* at Jusco'.. T___T'

The Arch ..

Last night, I was shaping my eyebrows with a small razor when I suddenly thought about a joke in which I shared with Passport Liz. I couldn't help myself and laughed aloud. Ten minutes later, I put away my tools, went to bed and dreamed of money. Namaste.

Tofu Rabu-Rabu Uncensored (Extended) Version : What really happened was that I laughed (and laughed my ass off) to the point where I accidentally ended up shaving a huge CHUNK of my eyebrow hair. And by the time I realized it, my idiocy already cost me HALF of my eyebrow hair.

I had to thin out the other brow to match the present.

When I am done, it struck me on how much I looked like a wife now -- tame and obedient looking. Ah, the wonders of thin brows on a round face!

For some people, looking soft and demure has its benefits. Unfortunately for me, having thicker, stubborn-looking brows gave me a *better* quality of life, as opposed to thin brows.

Cause I remembered the last time my eyebrows were *this* thin, my hand phone was STOLEN from me by some damned kid in broad daylight.

Cause I remembered the last time my eyebrows were *this* thin, some damned lady in washroom dried her hands by FLINGING droplets of water at me.

Cause I remembered that the last time my eyebrows were *this* thin, a damned interviewer asked me if I'd cry if he made me CLEAN his pantry.

WTF talk about DAMN soi ok! I've got more (horror stories) but yeah you get the idea -- Its never good to look demure for me! Cause people will just assume that I'm made to be bullied, and nothing fits me more than being a housewife.

Er, not that its anything bad in being a housewife la (nothing against housewives ok) but hello, I am 24 and I want to see the world first before I resign myself to the kitchen and wash my husband's underwear ok? wtf

Tofu future kitchen fantasy ..

Yeah I know big words to say for someone who managed to burn her mother's cooking pot twice (come to think of it, how the hell does someone burn a cooking pot anyway??) and whose pet dog whimpered in horror when he smelled her cooked Cabonara..

Anyway .. ! My point is .. aggressive brows, suits me better. But not TOO thick and TOO shapeless ok! I mean just *thick* enough to have a character (enough to look intimidating) and not *too* thick enough to cost me a married life in future ok?

Mm, I wondered how long it will take for my brows to grow back .. ? I mean it used to grow like happy weed back then .. Haha, you know in Japan there is an on running joke about how eyebrow hair grow faster for a horny person?

Er, haha .. no, I'm not horny la ok. Though I admit, I did squeal when Wolverine goes commando in Origins .. but then again, half the entire female population probably did that too, so I am pretty normal by female standards!

Tofu Rabu-Rabu Note : Yeah I shave my eyebrows and no, I don't give a rat's ass about what people say about how it 'destroys one's natural eyebrow's arch and original design' .. well destroy my ass cause my eyebrows never did have a 'natural arch' to begin with, and its 'original design' was so original to the point where the my crush sat behind me during the whole friggin year in tuition and never once noticed that I exist. FML

It UBER pisses me off when

'SOME PEOPLE' have the nerve to pass degrading comments ABOUT MY FATHER behind my father's back.

CAUSE REALLY, IF YOU ARE SO DAMNED BRAVE, THEN WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT IN FRONT OF MY FATHER'S FACE INSTEAD OF COWERING BEHIND YOUR FAT WIFE'S ASS? YOU ARE A MAN RIGHT? LELAKI KAN?

EVEN BETTER, WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY SISTER? Cause unlike our mother (who unfortunately respects senile relatives .. ) and our peace-loving father, I assure you that WE BOTH AREN'T THAT RESPECTFUL when it comes to people such as YOU.

AND PLEASE LAH, THE REASON MY FATHER DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU IS NOT BECAUSE HE IS 'AFRAID' OF YOU OK (really why would anyone be afraid of a midget??) but its rather because YOU ARE A DAMNED HYPOCRITE with a DAMNED FORKED TONGUE who STIRRED ALL KINDS OF DAMNED PROBLEMS FOR US.

Hn, to think of the many favors we have done for you, and how we welcomed you as an extension of our family. Well, I am no Christian, but HALLELUYAH THAT WE EVENTUALLY SAW THROUGH YOU FAKE FACADE. Would have been a damned shame if you go unrecognized for your efforts.

And oh, to his wife who commented on how fat my mother is HELLO PLEASE GO LOOK IN TO THE MIRROR FIRST before embarrassing yourself next time, cause you are so damned fat yourself, that when you step onto a weighing scale it says 'to infinity and beyond', wtf.

Affections across time ..

I ate six times today, and sat down heavily after like a sack of potatoes.

I should be ashamed (but I won't) cause I am just over compensating for the past few days in which I couldn't eat properly .. without feeling like someone dislocated my jaw and stuck a glass into my gums (in the area where the tooth is extracted) and left it there.

Pain pain pain pain ..! But I still eat anyway .. though I admit, it was not as vigorous as it used to be .. (=____=)'

See I had to pick my food carefully .. and chew slowly .. so I guess its the only time where my family get to see me eat like some dainty bitch who lives in the upper high class society, wtf.

Not only that, the food mustn't be too warm .. cause it'll melt the blood clot and the food mustn't be too hard .. in case the food gets dislodged and causes an infection.

So you can imagine what I have been eating ..! Okok, it wasn't that bad lah (even though the first two days felt like two long years..) cause on the third day it was significantly better!

On the third day,

I ate .. *this*! Dad's recommendation ! Yeah I know! It look so pitiful that I could cry! Its called uh .. 'Fei Tan Chok' or something? Texture wise, its gruel-like, but holy doriyaki .. ! When you taste it ..! Its damn nice ok~~! Dad, how could I have doubted you ..!

It took me an hour to finish my Chok cause I was trying my best to eat and ignore the burly woman who was sitting opposite me. She has been staring at me incredulously ever since I scooped and slurped my Chok using chopsticks.

Her husband joined in later.

By the time I'm finished, my face skin grew thicker by an inch.

As for lunch I had *this*!

Ban Chan Kuih !

I know .. ! How can food looks so enticing and painful at the same time?!! I was studying it, wondering how am I gonna fit that thing into my mouth .. then I got an idea .. !

.. so I begun to shred it until it was in mini bite sizes! Ohoho!

As for dinner .. my dad brought us to this restaurant called Jade Blossom! We are gonna celebrate Mother's Day there! Hurrahhh! I then remembered about my teeth ..

However when the food arrived, I totally forgot about my resolve, cause there on the table was two of my favourite dishes ! There was three more, but I was too fixated on the ..

Pork Leggu ~~~!!

and ..


Tofu Claypot ~~~!!

Walau .. I felt so guilty lah! I mean its supposed to be Mother's day ok, and here I am eating my favourite dishes! My mom even left the last piece of pork for me .. cause she don't want me to lose anymore weight! Awww .. Momaaa! *sniff

You know, come to think of it .. no one in my family actually felt truly sorry for me (when I did my tooth extraction ..) except my mom! I mean yeah sure she snickered with the rest .. b-but ! In the end she still diligently made me porridge with soft eggs! Gyahh.. ! I love you, MOM!

Actually Mom, I'm sure I loved you ever since I was born too (I just probably didn't know it yet..) and I have always loved you and even more when you told me that had things been different, and had we all instead lived in poverty .. you would still save up and feed me and my sister fish meat, while you and Dad would feed on the fish bones instead, wtf! I thought you were joking..! but when I saw how serious you were, I was so touched !

That night, I thought about what you said my stingy heart swelled, and I cried.

Mom? How can I ever repay your love? I don't think it would be possible even in a thousand lifetimes! How much do I love you? Enough for me to want to choose you again and again .. as my mother no matter how many many times I would be reborn! That's how much I love you .. (and even more than words can ever express) ! So thank you for loving me, Mom !

_

AND TO ALL YOU MOTHER'S OUT THERE, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

May everyday BE a Mother's day to all you incredible women out there!

Oyashirazu (親知らず)

Today I bloody went to see the bloody dentist and he bloody removed two of my bloody wisdom tooth. At first, he wanted to bloody remove all fours but I bloody told him that I would bite his hands if he tried so much as to bloody advance to the third tooth (which is perfectly healthy).

Just kidding. Mr Dentist was pretty understanding when I told him that I only want two of my wisdom tooth removed. Why? Well, that's cause my gums are already infected due to the two offending wisdom tooth (causing my face to swell like a steamed bun..) cause unlike normal people with normal wisdom tooth ..

The two of *my* wisdom tooth wanted to join the swimwella competition and grew horizontally, ala doing the backstroke wtf.

The other remaining two is perfectly healthy, hence it stays until it rots.

Initially I was worried that Mr D would just proceed on digging out the other healthy two after removing the offending two, and go 'Whoops..! What was I thinking? Ahahahah!! My bad'! .. T___T' however when I took a look at his somewhat large and clean room with two assistants, I doubt recession hit him that hard enough to do anything nightmarish to my healthy molars..

Anyway before he begun the extraction, he asked me if I have a history of allergies which he should know of. I nodded solemnly and said that I am allergic to pain.

He took a deep breath and was probably just short of slapping me when I continued on asking him if the removal of my two defective wisdom teeth on my left would cause my left cheek to cave in. He gave me a stoned expression and assured me that my looks won't be ruined. Lmao!!

Taking my 'allergies claim' literally, he injected my gums repeatedly with anesthesic to the point where my left eye started to drop (haha very funny) and I started to slur like a drunkard.

I felt pain during the injection (but not during the extraction ..) and I tell ya, its the worst kind of pain imaginable ok! I mean *ahem* I can handle any kind of pain ok (cheh, bangga-nyer..) but my mouth is definitely not one of them! No, never, non!

When I got home (and by the time the anesthetic wore out) the pain got so bad, to the point where I was stuffing my cheeks with tea bags.

To make things worse I remembered that this Sunday is Mothers Day! Arghh! B-bad timing! Now how am I supposed to cook Hainan Chicken rice for my mom without tasting the chicken??

Oy .. big sister, you better have some plans for Sunday !!

Sa-rang-nee (사랑니)

Chai messaged me and she told me that S, our long time (ex) bestfriend messaged her. I was like .. Yeahh! She messaged me too! *proud*
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But then right .. I remembered that it was four months ago, and until now I did not receive a reply from her wtf. To think I was so excited that I wrote a mini essay .. FML.

Anyway all is super good for me! I got a haircut, my sister bought me a bimbotic pink Nikon camera (cici, i love uuuu!) and .. my Playstation 2 lives!

Yes it lives! Omg miracle ok! Wanna know what happened? Ok, its like this .. the more I stared at my default Playstation 2, the more annoyed I got, to the point where I found myself jabbing away at the eject button stubbornly.. (=.=)' and just before sending it off for repairs .. I loaded in a DVD disc (one final last try ..) and holy sweet doriyaki ..! It worked!! *cries with joy

So guys, now you know! If your playstation 2 croaks on you, try these tips before sending it off to repairs! Nothing to lose right?!! 1. Vacumm the shit out of it, 2. Press the Eject button repeatedly.

Well, perhaps the only downside of this week is that .. my mouth got not enough space for my wisdom tooth ..

Pain pain pain pain! But I still eat anyway ... *ignores the stream of chorus in the lines of 'what are you .. an animal??!*

You know what they say about sick people not being able to eat? (I caught the flu bug as well ..) Well I am a living testament that it is possible to be sick and eat at the same time!

Cause this time around, I have an incredible appetite!

I eat ..

Eat .. and

Eat .. !

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I even microwave food and cook rice at 3am ok. wtf

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Well good also, cause this friday, I'm going to see the dreaded D, the Dentist! and I doubt that after extracting my wisdom tooth, I will be able to eat like an animal.. T___T'
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Personally I am not too keen on that idea of extracting out my tooth, cause hello, anything to do with the word 'extracting' and 'wisdom tooth' in the same sentence can never be good ok! It can only mean pain, pain and alot of pain! *stubborn

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However when I saw what the pain is doing to my face .. (holy sweet doriyaki .. my face swelled to the size of a steamed bun!!) yeah .. keen or not, please take the damned tooth out, Sensei !